I've decided to keep a journal, To have it all on record
So when I no longer have a use in this world, I'll still have something good
To leave behind, a god damned beginner's guide
On how not to fuck up, With examples offered
I feel a pain of conscience, enslaved to the substance
I am to take on the blame, all the bruises and the shame
I'll forget everything I wanted to say
All the good that I thought I could convey
No way to fix what's broken
I've been raised for frailty and haze
Yet things won't stay
Forever safe anyway
I keep repeating mistakes
I can't remember the steps
It's like a pattern for failing against the stakes
A stained fantasy coming alive
Makeshift paradise, we've sold our souls and fantasized
Too late to bargain now
All the breaks have weathered out
Too many decisions that were not my own
Too many opinions that I could not control
Too many lessons that I didn't learn
Too thousand reasons to just let it go
All alone - Forgive and forget
Without a home - Forgive and forget
Abandoned and cold - I'm sober, but my soul is drunk
All the faces that I once known
Broken and torn I can't let Go
I'm drowning in the waters of my own conscience
Please someone wake me up
Please give me peace of heart
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